Changing Your Perspective

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Doubt has been something I've struggled with for a long while. I think it stemmed from always being fearful, always being afraid of the unknown...of the things I cannot control. 

I like to be in control. I've always liked knowing the next step. This mindset has affected my relationship with God, with friends/family and even with my boyfriend. It has affected how I even conduct myself, the things I say, the chances I may or may not take. Which is mainly why I don't take many. It's made me very calculative...too calculative. 

Graduating university and looking for jobs, I didn't want to feel disheartened or doubtful. But the doors kept shutting in my face and I felt frustrated and angry. I felt that I was losing control. I was praying and all I felt was silence.

There's this song that I've been rinsing out almost every day. This song was me. It was saying all the things I was thinking and my reassurance was in these words:

"Maybe you're speaking through the silence, maybe its all I need to hear. Give me the patience in this quiet, I need to rest here and wait for you." - Silence by Anthony Evans

This song literally felt as if God was speaking to me. Telling me to stop giving up so easily, to learn patience, to practice faith. To change my perspective.

I told myself in this season of waiting, I have to be okay with the silence. I have to rest in the knowledge and reassurance that God has never failed me. He has never forsaken me. I graduated with a bloody first class honours degree for goodness sake! God is here with me. He always has been and always will. God's timing is not our own, so in waiting I choose to believe. I have to choose to have faith and even when I feel that I don't have the strength to, I have to pray and tell God to work with the mustard seed faith that I have. Even though it may seem small and it may not seem enough, I know that God can still work with it.

I've decided that I'm going to change my perspective. I'm going to change my response to struggles/disappointments and respond with faith.

So in changing my perspective, I'm doing some much needed reflection because I know for a fact that doubt always makes you forget what God has done in the past and also prevents you from thanking God for the little miracles he has done in the present.

In this season of unemployment and waiting. I am grateful and thankful for having the free time to truly seek Him. I've had the time to read and study my bible, to listen to sermons and journal. So I'm claiming Matthew 6:33 and being patient. Waiting in this silence and changing my perspective.

What about you?

"No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us." 

Romans 8:37 [NLT]

What's Your Vision?

Currently, I am unemployed and broke.

 It has been my motto since I've finished my degree at university; but what has surprised me is how I've been dealing with it. Usually I would be controlled by my anxiety and fall into depression but I have been at peace and simply content. Now that is growth! I've felt my relationship with God deepen, I am trusting in Him wholeheartedly and I am learning to be content with the stage that I'm at right now, knowing that God is in control and perhaps that this time of my life is needed.

There was this devotion that I was going through on the YouVersion Bible App called: Visioneering which literally has been such a huge encouragement and help. I most definitely believe that God has been speaking through this devotion as it has just reinforced the promises that God has made to me through His word. It has also allowed me to really use this time in my life to really figure out what I envision for my life; what I want to achieve and what God wants for me.

I don't want to give too much away because I do highly recommend that you go through this devotion for yourself but there were some bits that really stood out for me that I would like to share with you.

"Visioneering requires patience, investigation and planning. Visioneering requires faith in God's ability to work behind the scenes. Confidence that he will orchestrate what he has originated."

"There will be seasons when you feel like you are making little if any progress. In those times it will be easy to get little if any progress. In those times it will be easy to get distracted. This is when you must join with Nehemiah in declaring,

'I am doing a great work and I cannot come down' (Nehemiah 6:3)

Whether your visions are family, ministry or business orientated, they require constant attention. Stay focused."

What an encouragement right! The main points that stood out for me were that when you are trying to envision and plan for your future you really have to practice patience, have faith and believe that God will help and be there every step of the way. Also to have the confidence that God will do what He says He will do!

If you are in this period of your life like me and everything seems so out of reach; confused, frustrated and doubting that what you want will happen. I want you to know that God is able and that He has great things in store if you just commit your plans to Him and believe that He will do what He said He will.

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans." - Proverbs 16:3 [NIV]

Merzouga

I know these pictures have been a long time coming, I mean I did go to Morocco last year for goodness sake! (Naomi get it together!). Anyways, I have finally uploaded the pictures of my amazing trip to the desert in Morocco and these pictures were taken on the back of a camel trying to balance my Canon EOS M3 in one hand and hold on to the rope in the other. However, I really like how they came out and I'm also glad that I used my 50mm lens to really capture the details also.

What's Next?

The night I handed in my dissertation was a moment where I felt such a burden lifted from my shoulders, a weight now removed; I felt free. To treat myself I decided to order Indian and have a weekend of complete laziness, consisting of thinking and doing absolutely nothing because hell I frickin deserved it!

The weekend came and went. I caught up with my favourite TV shows, went to the cinema, went to bed late and woke up late. It felt good to have no assignment looming over my head, no worries about what exam to revise for because I was done. The three years of my life dedicated to my degree were over. But as Monday approached my anxiety began to suffocate me once again and I felt afraid and worried about the future that I panicked.

I have had so many people be so quick to ask me what the next step was, the next move that I haven't even had a chance to catch my breath yet. I've just finished my degree and family and friends have asked "What's next?". "Do you plan to go on and do a Masters?", "What job do you want?", "Have you started applying for jobs yet?", "Applications are closing for graduate schemes, so hurry".

I'm so sick and tired of being in a constant state of rushing and panicking because I haven't figured out the next stage yet. Being so quick to finish one thing and be on to the next without having a moment to really sit and reflect and figure things out. This path that we are encouraged to go through, to go to university, to graduate, to get a 9-5 job, to marry, to have kids, to die. Isn't life worth more than that? Aren't are lives more valuable than this constant cycle? There must be more to this.

There are three things that I know I want from this life:

1. To live for God

2. To have more experiences

3. To love my career & to love life to the fullest

I want to love deep, I want to love hard. I want to fall in love, I want to travel, I want to serve. I want to give my parents a nice retirement. I want my grandma to want for nothing. I want to laugh until I cry, I want to see Beyonce live in concert, I want to go on a mission trip. I want to live for God.

This life is so much more than the 9-5. I want more from it. I deserve more from it and I know that God has more for me.

So what's next you ask? Everything and so much more.

I may not have everything figured out right now but I'm excited about my future.

"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog-its's here a little while, then it's gone." [James 4:14 NLT]

Gospel Songs To Get You Through It | Part 2

1. Reliable God - Tela Robinson

This song right here...THIS SONG RIGHT HERE!!!! I've listened this song soo many times that Spotify is probably tired of my nonsense. But I was looking for some new gospel artists to listen to and stumbled across Tela Robinson and honestly, I love this song soo much. Her voice also reminds me of Kierra Sheard. The song is not on YouTube but it is on Spotify and Apple Music.

Favourite lyric: "Your not a genie, full of illusion, and I'm not imagining things"

2. Follow You - Christon Gray

Now this was a new artist for me, I came across this artist and particularly this song when it started playing in my boyfriend's car (shout out to his good taste in music). At first listen, I really liked it but as I have no brakes whatsoever and obviously listened to it another hundred times, I realised that it was a really beautifully written song. This song has definitely been there during those weak and doubtful moments in my life.

Favourite lyric: "It's been a long and winding road. Thank you for bringing me home. Thank you"

3. For My Good - Daniel Johnson

Had to throw this song into the mix. Loooooveeeee this song so much! Such a gorgeous acoustic song that I always go back to. My go to song for encouragement.


Favourite lyric: "All things work together for my good"

4. Let Your Power Fall - James Fortune & FIYA (feat. Zacardi Cortez)

I don't think there are any words to express how powerful this song is. Absolutely no words. That it all.

Favourite lyric: "So fight this battle for me and help my unbelief, so I can tell all my friends that you have won again"

5. You Are Holy - Lisa McClendon

TUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNEEEEEE. That is all.

Favourite lyric: "What a privilege and an honour to worship at your throne. To be called into your presence as your own."

6. Always - Kirk Franklin

You know I couldn't miss Uncle Kirk. It is already known that he is one of the best songwriters/composers e.t.c in Gospel Music. Most if not all of his albums bang and there are too many favourite songs to choose from but this particular song has been on repeat recently. Soo beautifully written.

Favourite lyric: "Jesus you're my everything, the cross you do that just for me. So whatever you take me through, I promise you, I'll spend my always with you."

7. Come Unto Me - Take 6

Had to throw it back a lil with this Take 6 classic. Every time I listen to this song my face does exactly this ---------> 😌. Can't really do a favourite lyric for this as it is a bible verse so you can say the whole song is a favourite for me.

I'm Selfish

This has been a topic that I've wanted to speak about for a while because I have many conflicting feelings about it and to be completely honest, I don't know how to go about talking about it. 

Society says that our 20s are supposed to be for personal development, for travelling, for pursuing passions, for falling in love and for making money. That these are the 'selfish years'. We are not responsible for anyone (well some of us...Congrats to Kylie), we can afford to make mistakes and try again. Ultimately our decisions are our own.

But why does it feel so guilty? Why does it feel wrong? Why does putting myself, my life, my wants, my dreams first deemed selfish? And why are we told that being selfish is wrong?

The definition of selfishness is: "devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with ones own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others."

Growing up, we were taught that selfishness was immoral and basically seen as a sin. However, I do believe that there is a strong distinction between selfishness and self-care which tends to be grouped together with being selfish. Despite this, we are taught that there is no middle ground, that there are two extremes: you are simply acting in a selfish way which is bad or your not which is good.

So what are some of the bible's thoughts on selfishness?

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of others." [Philippians 2:3-4 NIV]

"For when you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." [James 3:16 NIV]

"The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God" [Galatians 5:19-21 NIV]

Now with these texts, I do encourage you to read the surrounding verses for yourself to provide some context but at face value the bible does show that selfishness is bad. Even goes as far as to say that it is evil and can lead to sinful actions.

So what does this mean? Where do we go from here?

It's not that God doesn't want us to have our own wants and desires, God wants you to want things for yourself; but putting these things before God, before others is another thing. We can get so caught up with ourselves, focusing solely on everything revolving around us. Me me me me me. I want this, I want that. We plan and plan and want for things without considering God and putting any of our wants/desires/plans in His hands.

It's definitely easier said than done and to be completely honest, am I really ready to stop being selfish right now? I don't know...maybe this discussion needs to be fleshed out a bit more. But at least wanting to be better is a start...right?

"Seek first the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need" [Matthew 6:33 NLT]