This has been a topic that I've wanted to speak about for a while because I have many conflicting feelings about it and to be completely honest, I don't know how to go about talking about it.
Society says that our 20s are supposed to be for personal development, for travelling, for pursuing passions, for falling in love and for making money. That these are the 'selfish years'. We are not responsible for anyone (well some of us...Congrats to Kylie), we can afford to make mistakes and try again. Ultimately our decisions are our own.
But why does it feel so guilty? Why does it feel wrong? Why does putting myself, my life, my wants, my dreams first deemed selfish? And why are we told that being selfish is wrong?
The definition of selfishness is: "devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with ones own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others."
Growing up, we were taught that selfishness was immoral and basically seen as a sin. However, I do believe that there is a strong distinction between selfishness and self-care which tends to be grouped together with being selfish. Despite this, we are taught that there is no middle ground, that there are two extremes: you are simply acting in a selfish way which is bad or your not which is good.
So what are some of the bible's thoughts on selfishness?
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of others." [Philippians 2:3-4 NIV]
"For when you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." [James 3:16 NIV]
"The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God" [Galatians 5:19-21 NIV]
Now with these texts, I do encourage you to read the surrounding verses for yourself to provide some context but at face value the bible does show that selfishness is bad. Even goes as far as to say that it is evil and can lead to sinful actions.
So what does this mean? Where do we go from here?
It's not that God doesn't want us to have our own wants and desires, God wants you to want things for yourself; but putting these things before God, before others is another thing. We can get so caught up with ourselves, focusing solely on everything revolving around us. Me me me me me. I want this, I want that. We plan and plan and want for things without considering God and putting any of our wants/desires/plans in His hands.
It's definitely easier said than done and to be completely honest, am I really ready to stop being selfish right now? I don't know...maybe this discussion needs to be fleshed out a bit more. But at least wanting to be better is a start...right?
"Seek first the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need" [Matthew 6:33 NLT]
But why does it feel so guilty? Why does it feel wrong? Why does putting myself, my life, my wants, my dreams first deemed selfish? And why are we told that being selfish is wrong?
The definition of selfishness is: "devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with ones own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others."
Growing up, we were taught that selfishness was immoral and basically seen as a sin. However, I do believe that there is a strong distinction between selfishness and self-care which tends to be grouped together with being selfish. Despite this, we are taught that there is no middle ground, that there are two extremes: you are simply acting in a selfish way which is bad or your not which is good.
So what are some of the bible's thoughts on selfishness?
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of others." [Philippians 2:3-4 NIV]
"For when you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." [James 3:16 NIV]
"The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God" [Galatians 5:19-21 NIV]
Now with these texts, I do encourage you to read the surrounding verses for yourself to provide some context but at face value the bible does show that selfishness is bad. Even goes as far as to say that it is evil and can lead to sinful actions.
So what does this mean? Where do we go from here?
It's not that God doesn't want us to have our own wants and desires, God wants you to want things for yourself; but putting these things before God, before others is another thing. We can get so caught up with ourselves, focusing solely on everything revolving around us. Me me me me me. I want this, I want that. We plan and plan and want for things without considering God and putting any of our wants/desires/plans in His hands.
It's definitely easier said than done and to be completely honest, am I really ready to stop being selfish right now? I don't know...maybe this discussion needs to be fleshed out a bit more. But at least wanting to be better is a start...right?
"Seek first the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need" [Matthew 6:33 NLT]
