The night I handed in my dissertation was a moment where I felt such a burden lifted from my shoulders, a weight now removed; I felt free. To treat myself I decided to order Indian and have a weekend of complete laziness, consisting of thinking and doing absolutely nothing because hell I frickin deserved it!
The weekend came and went. I caught up with my favourite TV shows, went to the cinema, went to bed late and woke up late. It felt good to have no assignment looming over my head, no worries about what exam to revise for because I was done. The three years of my life dedicated to my degree were over. But as Monday approached my anxiety began to suffocate me once again and I felt afraid and worried about the future that I panicked.
I have had so many people be so quick to ask me what the next step was, the next move that I haven't even had a chance to catch my breath yet. I've just finished my degree and family and friends have asked "What's next?". "Do you plan to go on and do a Masters?", "What job do you want?", "Have you started applying for jobs yet?", "Applications are closing for graduate schemes, so hurry".
I'm so sick and tired of being in a constant state of rushing and panicking because I haven't figured out the next stage yet. Being so quick to finish one thing and be on to the next without having a moment to really sit and reflect and figure things out. This path that we are encouraged to go through, to go to university, to graduate, to get a 9-5 job, to marry, to have kids, to die. Isn't life worth more than that? Aren't are lives more valuable than this constant cycle? There must be more to this.
There are three things that I know I want from this life:
1. To live for God
2. To have more experiences
3. To love my career & to love life to the fullest
I want to love deep, I want to love hard. I want to fall in love, I want to travel, I want to serve. I want to give my parents a nice retirement. I want my grandma to want for nothing. I want to laugh until I cry, I want to see Beyonce live in concert, I want to go on a mission trip. I want to live for God.
This life is so much more than the 9-5. I want more from it. I deserve more from it and I know that God has more for me.
So what's next you ask? Everything and so much more.
I may not have everything figured out right now but I'm excited about my future.
The weekend came and went. I caught up with my favourite TV shows, went to the cinema, went to bed late and woke up late. It felt good to have no assignment looming over my head, no worries about what exam to revise for because I was done. The three years of my life dedicated to my degree were over. But as Monday approached my anxiety began to suffocate me once again and I felt afraid and worried about the future that I panicked.
I have had so many people be so quick to ask me what the next step was, the next move that I haven't even had a chance to catch my breath yet. I've just finished my degree and family and friends have asked "What's next?". "Do you plan to go on and do a Masters?", "What job do you want?", "Have you started applying for jobs yet?", "Applications are closing for graduate schemes, so hurry".
I'm so sick and tired of being in a constant state of rushing and panicking because I haven't figured out the next stage yet. Being so quick to finish one thing and be on to the next without having a moment to really sit and reflect and figure things out. This path that we are encouraged to go through, to go to university, to graduate, to get a 9-5 job, to marry, to have kids, to die. Isn't life worth more than that? Aren't are lives more valuable than this constant cycle? There must be more to this.
There are three things that I know I want from this life:
1. To live for God
2. To have more experiences
3. To love my career & to love life to the fullest
I want to love deep, I want to love hard. I want to fall in love, I want to travel, I want to serve. I want to give my parents a nice retirement. I want my grandma to want for nothing. I want to laugh until I cry, I want to see Beyonce live in concert, I want to go on a mission trip. I want to live for God.
This life is so much more than the 9-5. I want more from it. I deserve more from it and I know that God has more for me.
So what's next you ask? Everything and so much more.
I may not have everything figured out right now but I'm excited about my future.
"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog-its's here a little while, then it's gone." [James 4:14 NLT]
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