Changing Your Perspective

[image credit: pinterest]

Doubt has been something I've struggled with for a long while. I think it stemmed from always being fearful, always being afraid of the unknown...of the things I cannot control. 

I like to be in control. I've always liked knowing the next step. This mindset has affected my relationship with God, with friends/family and even with my boyfriend. It has affected how I even conduct myself, the things I say, the chances I may or may not take. Which is mainly why I don't take many. It's made me very calculative...too calculative. 

Graduating university and looking for jobs, I didn't want to feel disheartened or doubtful. But the doors kept shutting in my face and I felt frustrated and angry. I felt that I was losing control. I was praying and all I felt was silence.

There's this song that I've been rinsing out almost every day. This song was me. It was saying all the things I was thinking and my reassurance was in these words:

"Maybe you're speaking through the silence, maybe its all I need to hear. Give me the patience in this quiet, I need to rest here and wait for you." - Silence by Anthony Evans

This song literally felt as if God was speaking to me. Telling me to stop giving up so easily, to learn patience, to practice faith. To change my perspective.

I told myself in this season of waiting, I have to be okay with the silence. I have to rest in the knowledge and reassurance that God has never failed me. He has never forsaken me. I graduated with a bloody first class honours degree for goodness sake! God is here with me. He always has been and always will. God's timing is not our own, so in waiting I choose to believe. I have to choose to have faith and even when I feel that I don't have the strength to, I have to pray and tell God to work with the mustard seed faith that I have. Even though it may seem small and it may not seem enough, I know that God can still work with it.

I've decided that I'm going to change my perspective. I'm going to change my response to struggles/disappointments and respond with faith.

So in changing my perspective, I'm doing some much needed reflection because I know for a fact that doubt always makes you forget what God has done in the past and also prevents you from thanking God for the little miracles he has done in the present.

In this season of unemployment and waiting. I am grateful and thankful for having the free time to truly seek Him. I've had the time to read and study my bible, to listen to sermons and journal. So I'm claiming Matthew 6:33 and being patient. Waiting in this silence and changing my perspective.

What about you?

"No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us." 

Romans 8:37 [NLT]